Behind Blue Eyes
by Letselina
Summary: Tidus regrets leaving Yuna. For two years he will search for a way to be free of the Farplane. But nothing will seem to go his way...
1. Be Careful What You Wish For

_ A/N: Hello everyone! I hope you enjoy this story. It will be a little depressing at points. It takes place from FFX's ending to FFX-2's ending, in Tidus's POV. Well without much further ado, I give you Behind Blue Eyes._

DISCLAIMER: NO I don't own FFX or FFX-2 but I sure do with I owned Tidus XD. Errrm... I don't own the song in here either, Still Believe from Legend of Dragoon. That said....  
  
**Behind Blue Eyes**  
  
**--Chapter One--  
  
-Be Careful What You Wish For-**

* * *

"I love you..." she said quietly.  
  
Quickly turning, I faced Yuna, my heart in a knot. I could feel my presence fading each second I remained there. How could I leave her like this? I wrapped transparent arms around her, hoping she could feel my embrace. But I knew, she couldn't. She had fallen through me moments earlier. I walked through her; it was a strange sensation. I feared that if I stayed any longer, my tears would fall.  
  
Running with the agility I had gained as a blitzball player, I jumped off the airship. I passed Yuna's father, Braska, and Auron. I stopped in front of my own father, Jecht. He nodded, and we slapped hands. Yes, there was that moment in which I had been proud to be his son, but he and I both know that moment won't last long.  
  
I watched as the new High Summoner flew away into the sunset, my heart with her. I wished I didn't have to leave her. Yet I knew, we had no choice. _I love you too... _I sent my thought to her, hoping she knew.  
  
Suddenly a black, ominous mist took over everything. It took all the people who had faded, including my father and me, across Spira. "Yuna..." I managed to whisper before falling into a soft slumber.  
  
I woke up to the sounds of crashing pots and pans. Opening my eyes, I saw I was in a bedroom. My bedroom. Blitzball posters, articles, and magazine clips of the Zanarkand Abes covered my walls. I stood up and stretched. Walking down the stairs, I saw Jecht sitting at the table, head in hands.   
  
"Tidus!" he cried, almost as if he was happy to see me.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You remember Spira right?!"  
  
"Spira...?" I echoed. I reconized the word... but why?  
  
"Sin? Auron?"  
  
I walked towards the toaster, putting in some bread. "I don't think so..."  
  
"Yuna?"  
  
I froze in place. _Yuna. _Her name brought back all those images and memories. How could I have forgotten? For even a moment? When I had woken up, it was if I had woken up in my normal life. Because I had. "Spira... how did we get here?" I questioned.  
  
"I suppose when Yuna defeated Sin, all of us Zanarkand people got sent back here."  
  
"No..." I said, "This is the Farplane."  
  
"How do yah figure?" Jecht demanded.  
  
"The fayth quit dreaming."  
  
"So we're dead?"  
  
"I think so..."  
  
"Tidus! Jecht!" shouted a woman from the next room.  
  
"Mom...?" Both of us ran into the next room, greeting her with a hug.  
  
"Hey!" she laughed. "What's with the hugs?"  
  
"I missed you so much..." Jecht said softly.  
  
"I missed you too. Ten years was a long time..."  
  
"So we're back in Zanarkand," Jecht said, stretching his arms. "I never thought I see this place again. Well, in one piece that is."  
  
I couldn't seem to put together everything that was going on. I had been in Spira for nearly a year. Had I gone 'missing' from Zanarkand as well? And would anyone but my father believe I had seen this very metropolis as dead ruins? Closing my eyes, I could picture the Zanarkand Ruins perfectly. I had stood beside Yuna, thinking she was going to die. But we found a way. And I sacrificed myself. What made me angry is that I wanted this. I had wanted for so long to return here. Back to Zanarkand. Back to my home. But now... I wanted to get as far as possible out of here.  
  
"You okay, bud?" my mother asked, worriedly.  
  
I shook my head. I could feel tears burning in my eyes. Damnit! Why couldn't I have stayed in Spira? "I don't want to be here."  
  
"Why not?" she asked, looking hurt.  
  
"Yuna..." I said softly.  
  
This made Jecht burst out into laughter.  
  
"What the hell is so funny?" I demanded.  
  
"You! Fallin' for Braska's daughter!" he banged his fist on a table, laughing harder.  
  
You know what, Dad? Fuck you. I ran out of the house, my bare feet pounding against the pavement. What did he know about love? All he ever did was take my mom away from me. All I wanted was to go back to Spira. Back to Yuna.   
  
I stopped in front of the stadium. I could hear music from inside. I always had freedom to roam the stadium so I did. Walking in the back entrance, I waved to the guard. I think his name was Benzi. I took a seat near the front. On stage was a songstress, warming up for the concert that night. Sitting back, I listened to her song.  
  
"I had a dream that I could fly and I feel each moment as time goes by. We would never be to far away, you'd always be here. I heard you say 'I never thought... Thought that this would be our last good-bye.' I still can dream that one day love will fall from the sky... Do you still remember all the time that has gone by? Do you still believe that love can fall out from the sky? If from where your standing, you can see the sky above... I'll be waiting for you if you still believe in love..."  
  
Her song almost brought me to tears. It made me think of Spira, the pilgrimage, Rikku and the other guardians. Yuna. Why couldn't I get her out of my mind? I broke my promise to her. I had said I'd always be with her. But I left... I had to get back. I just had to! But how?  
  
_Sin. _That was how I got to Spira. But Jecht was here now. Sin was dead. And I somehow knew I could never return. I was trapped in this world. I wanted to go home. 


	2. My Sacrifice

  
  
**--Chapter Two--  
  
-My Sacrifice-**

* * *

"Hey Tidus," waved the songstress, walking down from the stage. "Glad to see you're back."  
  
I looked up, seeing the pretty girl. She was probably just a little older than me, long strawberry blonde hair. She wore a lilac colored outfit, a low v-neck dressed in white ruffles. White ribbon criss-crossed to her elbow where the same colored sleeves clung to her arms. A soft lacy khaki colored skirt was mostly covered by a white shawl that hung from her right shoulder. I remember seeing her perform before. I think her name was Leigha. "Thanks," I said quietly. I sure wasn't glad to be back.  
  
"You all right?" she asked. She sat beside me, pushing strands of hair behind her ears, revealing one emerald and one sapphire eye. It startled me. "You seem a little bummed."  
  
"Nah, I'm fine," I lied.  
  
"Really?" she peered into my eyes, almost looking into the depths of my soul. I couldn't help but stare back into her orbs, I felt so confused.  
  
"Everything is just... strange. I wanted for a long time to come back here and now... I don't. This isn't really my home anymore," I sighed. I wondered why I was opening myself up to her. Maybe because she reminded me of Yuna; sweet and determined.  
  
"Where were you? I didn't know there was much else other than Zanarkand," Leigha spoke. Her voice was soft and comforting.  
  
"I'm not sure anymore," I said.  
  
"Well, I don't know what I can say," she said, "but good luck tonight. Hopefully you'll feel better so you can play like the pro everyone knows you are," Leigha said with a smile. She got up, and walked back to the stage as her band started up another number.  
  
Wonderful, I thought to myself. I had a game that night. I leaned back, watching her as her band played a rock beat. I remembered dating her at one point. I don't know why we broke up. She seemed nice.  
  
"Hello my friend we meet again. It's been a while; where should we begin? Feels like forever. Within my heart are memories of perfect love that you gave to me... I remember," she sang. Leigha seemed to be looking at me, the entire time. It was sort of bone chilling. "When you are with me I'm free…I'm careless…I believe. Above all the others we'll fly! This brings tears to my eyes. My sacrifice."  
  
Her song reminded me of Spira.  
  
_"Don't worry. I can fly. Believe," Yuna said. She jumped off the balcony to her inevitable doom as Rikku tossed a flash grenade. I had never felt so scared. Or angry. My heart was racing. What if she had died? Why did I feel like this? Did I... no it couldn't have been. But it was. I loved her. I had finally realized it._  
  
Standing up, I shoved my hands in my pockets, feeling sorry for myself again. People greeted me as I sulked down the main road. Maybe I ought to try and be friends with my father. After all, I didn't have anyone else. Everyone seemed so... far away. This world was simple compared to Spira. There was no such thing as summoners, the Fayth, aeons, nothing. Even machina. We had machines in Zanarkand, and they didn't cause Sin to appear.  
  
And what was with Leigha? I seemed to have memories of her but I couldn't remember many. Maybe it was just because she reminded me so much of Yuna. The lyrics of the soft rock song still echoed in my mind. That had been my sacrifice. To save Spira, I had to sacrifice everything I had gained. Friends, adventure, and love. _Love. _I had thought to be in love before with the countless fangirls and celebrities I had dated here in Zanarkand. But no. That was lust, or something completely different and stupid. I now knew what the word love meant. To want to be with someone enough that sacrificing anything to make her happy, and free.  
  
I guessed what we did was best. Had we continued with the Final Summoning, Yuna would be... dead. And so would someone else. And I'd be trapped in Spira, without Yuna. Had Yuna quit her pilgrimage, we'd be together, yes. But happy and free? No. We'd be trapped with the ever growing threat of Sin haunting her day and night. Yes. We did the best thing we could.  
  
With nowhere else to go, I stomped back inside my house, angry, depressed, and confused. Almost immediately, I was bombarded with a few blitzballs. "Hey! What's the big idea?" I cried.  
  
"So kid, are you ready to play?" Jecht asked me.  
  
"Yeah, sure," I muttered, stalking up to my room. Tossing a blitzball against a wall, I threw myself on my bed, thinking of anything I could do. I had to get out of here. I had to go back to Spira. "Damnit!" I cried outloud. I didn't care if anyone heard me swear or sob. I just wanted to go home. To be back inYuna's arms, where I could feel... safe.

* * *

  
  
_A/N: I know it's a bit short but I do want to continue this story. Thanks to all reviewers and I look forward to your responses on this update. BTW, the songstress, her outfit is supposed to look like a pink version of Lenne's and her name is pronounced like Leah, but spelled Leigha... yeah.  
LYL - Letselina_


	3. Blitzball

_A/N: Sorry I'm updating so slow. I was hoping to get this chapter up on Sunday but I was riding our moped and I wiped out (and you prolly don't want to know the gory details) Anyway, I've decided to push a lot more of Leigha into this story so, enjoy!_  
  
**--Chapter Three--  
-Blitzball-**

* * *

I didn't really feel like playing blitz. Especially with my father. He sure was excited about it though. Kept talking about how he'd show me how blitzball is really played. I guess it would be fun to show him up, the Jecht Shot and all. Besides, I was the star player of the Zanarkand Abes. Yeah - that was me now. Spira was a totally different, and real, world. I knew I wasn't going to get over it soon. But blitzball might ease _some_ of the pain.  
  
Stretching, I got out of my bed, looking over some of the magazine clips of myself and the team. 'Son of Jecht Wins Game 8-0!' 'Promising New Player for the Abes' 'Season Starts with 9-2 Game'. Shaking my head, I walked down the stairs to the kitchen, looking at the headlines for today. One caught my eye, with a picture of my father, one of myself, and another of Leigha.  
  
**"Blitzball (slash) Concert Tonight!"** read big bold letters. _"Eleven years ago, everyone's favorite blitzer, Jecht, disappeared. He was thought for dead, leaving his seven year old son, Tidus, alone with his mother. Ten years later, his son grew as a blitzer, probably even bigger than his father. But he, too, disappeared much like his father. A year later, both were found, alive and well. Miracles can happen, and to celebrate their return, the A-East stadium has sold out for the blitz tournament (slash) concert tonight! From A-East, the Abes, welcoming their two players Tidus and Jecht, verses the Duggles from C-South. Performing before and after the game is the lovely songstress, Leigha.  
  
Leigha of A-East is the biggest songstress in Zanarkand. With her number one hit 'Real Emotion' she's become the favorite of thousands of people. 'Being a songstress was one of my dreams, ever since I was a little girl,' the songstress says. 'It's a difficult journey, but it's full of laughter and fun along the way.' Leigha has put out two albums in the past one and a half year, and is already working on her third. When we asked her about her love life, she answered simply, 'Between performing and writing, I have little time for love.' Of course, this brought up the question about the newly returned blitzer, Tidus. 'Tidus and I were together, before he disappeared. I haven't seen him yet myself, but I'm sure we'll get a chance to talk.' Once the biggest couple in all of Zanarkand, the songstress and blitz player haven't seen each other yet after a year of seperation, but after tonights game, we'll see how they are faring."  
  
_The rest just told when and where the game would be. I thought I remembered breaking up with Leigha before I "disappeared" into Spira. Obviously we remembered different events. We'd "talk" after the game, I'm sure.  
  
"Are you ready to blitz?!" Jecht yelled, walking into the room.  
  
"I'm right here, you don't need to yell," I said.  
  
"Well, are you?" he asked.  
  
"Guess so."  
  
"Well you better be. I want to see you at your best," Jecht laughed.  
  
"Don't worry, you will." I began to leave, when he asked where I was going. "To the stadium."  
  
"What for? We don't have to be there for another hour!"  
  
"I want to beat the press," I said, rolling my eyes. That was the last thing I needed. Heading out the door, I walked down the road at a quick pace. Fans were beginning to line up on the street. I didn't really want to sign autographs or answer questions, so I sprinted down to the stadium, trying to psyche myself up for the game. Waving to the guards again, I was let into the Abes locker room.  
  
"Hey Tidus!" waved the coach. "Great to have you back. You in shape?"  
  
"Hey Coach," I nodded. "Perfect shape." And it wasn't a lie. From fighting fiends and Sin to playing blitz with the Aurochs, I was still in the best shape I had been in, maybe even better.  
  
"How about your father? Is he doing well?" he asked.  
  
"I don't know. Haven't seen him play in ten years," I said. Jecht had been Sin for ten, almost eleven, years, not playing blitz or fighting fiends. He was in Spira, destroying the cities and villiages as he passed.  
  
"Well he better be. We need him. One of the players got switched to the Duggles last week and we can't risk anyone getting hurt," the coach sighed.  
  
"I'm not promising you anything," I warned, walking out to the sphere pool. It wasn't filled yet, but the warm up area was. I stepped in the water, floating on my back. Just like that night Sin came. But Sin was no more. I'd have to deal with Zanarkand until I found a way out.  
  
"Hey there."  
  
Broken from my train of thought, I opened my eyes and sat up. Sitting on a bench near me was Leigha, twisting her long strawberry blonde hair. "Oh hi."  
  
"Feeling better?" she asked.  
  
"Not really..." I admitted.  
  
Smiling weakly, she asked, "Wanna scream?"  
  
_"Wanna scream?" Yuna asked.  
  
"I really don't think that's gonna help this time," I sighed.  
  
"You know what? It's embarrassing to say this myself... But summoners and their guardians are kind of like Spira's ray of light. A lot of people in Spira depend on us," Yuna chuckled quietly to herself, "I learned to practice smiling when I'm sad, you know?"_  
  
"Wh-what'd you say?" I asked, startled.  
  
"I asked if you wanted to scream. That's what you used to do when you felt bad. Remember?" she asked, sitting on the edge of the warm up pool, putting her feet in the cool water.  
  
Surprisingly, I did.  
  
_"Hey, are you okay?" Leigha asked. We were sixteen, out for a night on the town.  
  
"I don't know..." I said. I was moody; it was the ninth year 'anniversary' of my father's disappearance and the press had been attacking me like crazy.  
  
"What do you want to do?" she inquired, pulling on my arm tighter. We were 'together.'  
  
"Scream real loud..." I said, and did so, startling the people around us.  
  
_"It's going to be crazy tonight, you know," she said.  
  
"Howcome?" I wondered, a bit oblivious to all that was happening.  
  
"Well the number one question running in everyone's head is, 'Where were you and your father?' It's been a long time."  
  
I closed my eyes again, "I was really gone, for a whole year then?"  
  
"Uh huh," Leigha answered. "You don't know what it means to some people, that you came back. Everyone was so... sad when you left. Even me."  
  
I stood up, "You know, I don't really remember a lot of the stuff that happened when I lived here."  
  
"Really? Where were you that you could have forgot?" Leigha questioned.  
  
I couldn't tell her about Spira. She wouldn't believe me anyways. Just like no one believed me about Zanarkand. "I was in a different place, you know?"  
  
"Not telling?" Leigha gave a somewhat coy grin.  
  
"You wouldn't believe me anyways," I sighed.  
  
She giggled softly, "You never know. Try me."  
  
What's the harm, I figured. So I told her, just like I had told Rikku about Zanarkand. I told her about Sin, the Al Bhed, fiends, blitzball, the pilgrimage, and Yuna. "Then... I was here."  
  
Leigha glanced at me in disbelief, like I knew she would. "That's... bizarre," she said.  
  
"I knew you wouldn't believe me," I said.  
  
"I never said that. I just said it's strange," Leigha defended.  
  
I couldn't oppose that idea. It was strange. Almost impossible. But it had to be real. I was the dream, not Spira.  
  
"Well, better get ready. Good luck," she said, smiling.  
  
"Yeah, you too," I returned.  
  
She bent down to my face, softly and quickly pressing her lips against mine. "Score one for me." Then as fast as she had come, she hurried to the stage, warming up.  
  
We really must have been something, but I couldn't remember. It was so strange. Well, I'd think about it later. It was game time. Soon the other players, including my father, were out in the water with me.  
  
"Star player, eh?" Jecht laughed. "We'll see."  
  
A smirk grew across my face. "Remember, old man, you haven't played in ten years. I have been playing since you left, and I'm in much better shape. I was the top-notch player for the Aurochs too."  
  
"Ha, that loser team. With my traits, you better have been the best!" Jecht laughed again.  
  
It hurt, hearing him talk about the Aurochs like that. Sure, they weren't the best team, but they were good. And they were my friends. That's why it really hurt. "Oh, what do you know," I muttered, stretching.  
  
The stadium doors opened, and the screaming fans poured in as Leigha began to psyche up the audience. "Are you ready to rock?" she yelled into the microphone. She was answered with more screams and cheers. Smiling, she began to sing a repetitive lyric. "What can I do for you?" More cheers. She struted out into the middle of the stage, spinning around in the special light effects. "I remember everything you said that night. In your loneliness, your heart was with me and I know you were confused I felt your pride. But you held my hand and stood so bravely," she sang as backup dancers appeared behind her. "Everything has changed, nothing feels the same, I am going where you are right now. In my dreams I see you; I can feel you here somehow!" Breaking into the chorus, the audience could be heard singing along, "Reality and dreaming feel the same whenever I'm with you. It must be real if the way I feel is really just another side illusioned to. I dont believe that your close to me, wherever you might be." And another string of "What can I do for you?" Pointing towards the audience she sang, "I can hear you! Reality and dreaming feel the same whenever I'm with you. It must be real if the way I feel is really just another side illusioned to. I dont believe that I'm close to you, I know that much is true!" Grinning, she sang the last, "I can hear you!" and there was a bright flash, meaning the sphere pool was filling. "Get ready for blitzball!" she cried into the microphone as we players jumped into the water.  
  
It was a fierce game, but I don't really remember any of it. My mind was too busy thinking of other things. Soon enough, it was halftime and we loaded into the locker room for a mid-game pep talk.  
  
"We're doing great, just keep it up and we'll win the game for sure," Coach said, continuing to tell us plays he wanted us to run through.  
  
"You are doing pretty great, kid. But not better than me," Jecht bragged.  
  
His thick skull just didn't like the fact that he was losing his touch. He had scored once compared to my three goals. But that was my father, guess I better get used to it.  
  
"Now let's get out there and show those Duggles what we're really made of!" the coach yelled.  
  
"Yeah!" the team cried.  
  
"What's our motto?"  
  
"Victory! Victory! Victory!" we chanted, running out to the sphere. The Duggles were heavy on defense, trying to steal the ball. With a few seconds to go on the clock, I decided to show my dad that the 'Jecht Shot' was now highly overrated. The ball knocked out one, two players on the opposing team, then I kicked it up in the air, jumping after it. I was now out of the sphere, and I took a second to glance around, expecting Sin to pop up. But he didn't. I kicked the ball down hard, scoring the final goal of the game. The crowd erupted, and I thought the stadium was going to explode. We won the game, 12-6, starting out the season well. Now the trick was escaping the press.

* * *

_A/N: Before anyone says "There was no dream Lenne, only a dream Shuyin," I know! I just thought it'd be a little more interesting to make Leigha like Lenne and Yunie. (Hence the outfit and song, Real Emotion) And the song Real Emotion she sings is the version sung by Kristine Sa. I don't especially like her voice, but I like the lyrics. Oh and these are not the official lyrics, they were taken by ear so I don't know if all the words are correct. Sorry, heh. If anyone has the correct lyrics, PLEASE send them to me at Subject: Kristine Sa Lyrics. Next chapter coming soon (faster than the last one)   
Always -Letselina _


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